Lessons from the happy lady

Naturally positive people fascinate me. I am prone to a glass half empty outlook, a touch Eeyore if you will. In late 2019 I was in peak pessimist mode, I had finished 18 months of cancer treatment, I was exhausted, lost and full of emotions I didn't know what to do with.

(Photo: view from the Blockhouse Bay Yacht Club...is the tide coming in or out...)

I crept into the entrance of the Blockhouse Bay Yacht club hoping to go un-noticed. Mumbling hello to the woman greeting attendees at the door I found a seat at the back of the room. What on earth was I doing at a retreat? Let alone one where we sat in a circle and shared our feelings. Following the introductions I made a hasty exit, skipping the talk for the evening. I returned the next morning with my walls firmly up, hoping I was radiating enough fuck off energy to prevent chit chat.

Shona oozed positivity. She had an elegant grey pixie cut, wore stylish clothes and sparkle in her eyes. During one of the breaks she declared 'cancer was a wonderful opportunity to become a completely different person'. I was utterly fascinated by her outlook.

When I was brainstorming guests for the C Word I knew I needed to find Shona aka 'the Happy Lady'. I was determined to find out what made her so damn positive. I needed to know her secret....

What I've learned from interviewing optimistic people is being positive doesn't mean ignoring the bad stuff. Shona has bad days. She spent months at home, shielding herself from the outside world when the love of her life died. And felt scared when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. The key to not getting stuck in grief or self pity is to move through the emotions. And to choose to believe there is hope things will improve.

Shona joined me for an upcoming episode which will air Sunday 6 December, 11.50am on planetaudio.org.nz/thecword.

Note: I did eventually let my guard down during the weekend retreat; I cried and even participated in laughing yoga.