Humor Beats Cancer with Olivia Clarke
- helsbels7
- Mar 21, 2022
- 2 min read
Cancer can be a traumatic experience in both mind and body. Once treatment ends many of us struggle with the fear of reoccurrence. But what if happens when you discover that your cancer has returned?
Our guest for this episode is Olivia Clarke, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015. At the end of 2021, her cancer returned.
Despite the challenges she faced in her life, she decided to find humor in her own little ways. This experience has also motivated her to form an online community where she helps people who are undergoing cancer treatment by raising money and awareness with her blog Humor Beats Cancer.
I met Olivia on Instagram in 2018 when I was going through treatment for breast cancer. She reached out to me and I submitted a post for Humor Beats Cancer. I shared one of my more embarrassing stories! You can read it here.
In this episode, we talked about:
How do you move on after having cancer
Why you don’t need to be as active as you were pre-cancer
How does cancer affect our relationship with friends and family
What is the importance of a therapist while dealing with cancer
Is it possible to go back to your life pre-cancer
Resources and Links Mentioned In This Episode
Olivia Clarke:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/humorbeatscancer/
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/humorbeatscancer
Twitter: https://twitter.com/humorbeatcancer?lang=en
If you want to contribute or have any funny thing to share, reach out at editor@humorbeatscancer.com
Helen's links:
The C Word Radio is a podcast that asks WTF does young cancer survivorship mean. If you got cancer and all you got was a darker sense of humor and PTSD join host, Helen King, and regular guests, for raw and at times inappropriate conversations about life after a cancer diagnosis.
Listen here:
Episode Transcript
Helen: [00:00:00] You're listening to the C Word Radio, the podcast where we ask what the fuck does young cancer, survivorship mean with me, Helen King and guests, subscribe and rate on apple podcasts and Spotify. Thank you so much for joining me. Olivia is lovely to finally connect with you kind of. Yeah,
Olivia: I'm so thankful.
Thank you for having me on. I'm really excited to participate in this. It really sounds like you have a really strong focus and it's an interesting topic overall survivor. Yeah.
Helen: Yeah. It's such a loaded word. I feel as well, because it does mean so many different things. So I would actually really like to start there.
And it's a big question to tease it out. What does survivorship mean for you?
Olivia: Yeah, for me, um, you know, especially as it relates to cancer, I think it's about how you move on from this very [00:01:00] traumatic experience and. Reentered the world of the living and you know, how do you pick up your life as it's changed since cancer?
And I think that that's super tricky and that's really hard. And I don't think that those who haven't gone through cancer, I don't think they completely understand that phase of our lives because most people are like, oh, you you've been cured or your cancer has gone away or it's in remission or whatever.
And so you're good. Now you can come back and you can be exactly the same person. That you were P for cancer and that's so not possible in most situations because it's just, I mean, anytime anybody goes through any sort of traumatic experience, you come out the other side and you're a different person.
You know, everybody talks about it. Whether you went to war or you, you know, had a problem with the child or whatever it is, I really think that you're a different person. And I feel like that's for me is kind of figuring out who you are. Post-cancer. And what that means to you as [00:02:00] well, to the people around you, or maybe used to you as you were before, or we're even, we're more used to you as you're going through cancer, that you were someone who they could help and they could bring a meal to, or they can have a glass of wine with, and they feel good about themselves.
And now they're not sure what to do with you. Now, this is your past cancer. So I think survivorship is just really figuring all of that out, which is so easy, right. So easy, you know, you wake up and it's like, you go to sleep like sleeping beauty, you wake up and you're like a whole new world, but yeah.
Helen: Jumped out of bed.
Olivia: I wish it was. I wish it was, but it's so not possible.
Helen: It's really, really isn't. I think cancer is transformative in a way. And whether there is good or bad, I don't know. I have seen it before in previous episodes. I don't know whether I can truly say I really grateful I've got cancer.
Like there's part of me that thinks, you know, what, if I hadn't got cancer, I would have lived a different path and it would have been what it never happened, but I [00:03:00] that's not the CAD. I was doubt. And so I re yeah, that resonates with me of trying to figure out, well, here we are. Yeah, no,
Olivia: no, it's so true. I felt like when I got down with breast cancer, I did kind of change completely.
I really assessed my life and I felt like I wasn't giving back enough to society and to people around me and I wasn't as good of a friend or as good of a sister or an aunt as I could be. And I really did kind of focus on that. It took me down a path of doing a lot of volunteering and it took me down a path of trying to really be there for the relationships in my life.
But it also, I mean, it had some negative impact on me too. I, um, I got divorced after a post-cancer and I do think that a big piece of it was that I was different when I walked into the marriage. I wasn't the type of person. I think we both changed in different ways, but I had changed a lot because of cancer.
And so it really was hard to figure out who to be. And in the end, that relationship. [00:04:00] Had run its course, and that was really hard. So, I mean, I think there are positive and negative effects post cancer in my life for sure.
Helen: Oh, absolutely. Has collectible damage. Doesn't it. And I think that's something that isn't spoken about.
Maybe it is your romantic relationship, or I know for myself, friends, I've lost a lot of friends because exactly the same thing. I changed. And so, you know, some people can't cope with that or maybe they don't fit anymore. And it's interesting. Cause I think even in my immediate family it's changed the dynamic as well, you know?
And so I think those things, we don't talk about a lot. We don't just sort of all go through this dumpster.
Olivia: It's so true. I, at least to myself was very hard on myself. Like I wanted to go back to the person I was pre-cancer. I mean, I really wanted to, and it's, and it's a lot of guilt. I mean, you have the guilt because you can't be there and set sometimes in the ways you were in the past for [00:05:00] people. I mean, you mentioned friends.
I mean, I had a friend who was with me throughout the whole cancer. But by the end, she was really just tired of like, it was a lot about me and she even said that, and we ended up not being friends afterwards because she felt like it did become, she became too much of a caregiver and not like a friend, like I wasn't there for her, for her things.
She was only there for me. I had a lot of guilt about that for a long time. Like, like what should I have done differently? But I think a lot of times there's nothing you can do about it just because it is a community to go back to the fact that it is such a traumatic experience. It is that. It's something where you're just like, you're in the war and you're fighting for your life.
And I know cancer survivors hate that fighting mentality, but I do feel like there are days when you have to push yourself to get up and you push yourself to keep going. And that is a fight. It's a fight with yourself. Keep going sometimes
Helen: Ashley LA. And it's really funny. I don't think what I was listening to recently and it was talking about often kinda could withhold the [00:06:00] physical stuff because I knew for instance, when I hit a chemo infusion, the day after would be a bit iffy, but.
Third day to about day five, what those are my Nali days. But when, you know, there is kind of an end to things, it was easier to deal with. It was the mental stuff that was really, really challenging. And I think that's what. Kant or find it hard to cope with is that, you know, I know for myself, I often just go inward.
I sort of, yeah. Hunker down and think, how am I walking through this? And I think that's much harder for people around us to navigate well, I
Olivia: find it so fascinating too, that, so I went through breast cancer in 2015 is when I was diagnosed and there wasn't all of this talk about self care. There wasn't a lot of, there were all these beams and I think a lot of it does come out of COVID too.
That there's a lot of people who are saying no take care of you. It's okay to cancel plans, everything. And none of that messaging was [00:07:00] out there when I was going through it. I feel like, I mean, that, that is a bit of a help now I think because there is so much encouragement to focus on you and it's okay to sit on the couch and watch TV.
When I was going through it, there was definitely a push that you still had to be just as active. And then even post-cancer you had to continue to do. You jump right back in and it, you just keep going and you don't pick up where you left off. And that's just so hard to do because you are dealing with that mental stuff that you were talking about.
Like you just, it really does impact how you live your life.
Helen: Absolutely. And it's really interesting. Cause I think part of the reason. I started this podcast or wanting to seek out other younger people who had had cancer was that stuff, because I was not doing I wasn't an in between I wasn't at the gym and I know some people can and that's fantastic.
I was not one of those people in it. It has been a very slow process for me to get some semblance of physical health back and that sort of [00:08:00] stuff. I think part of is like, where are those people I need to find this is okay. And normal that I am just, yeah, I am so not. Okay.
Olivia: You know, I mentioned that I just, before Thanksgiving I was diagnosed, my cancer had come back and it's such a different mentality now because yeah, you're right.
Like. The first time around, I was going to yoga classes and do all this stuff. And then now, I mean, partially it is because of COVID, you know, you can't go as many places, but I feel like it's just enough for me to like, go take a nap. It's like, it's like a real treat versus going to all these working out and stuff like that.
I feel like that's, uh, or, you know, ordering my favorite type of dinner is like a very nice gift and everything. I think it definitely does change your perspective of. Stop pushing yourself so hard. And I, you know, in terms of survivorship, post-cancer I think that's a big message is you don't need to push yourself so much.
Like you just like sit in it a little bit and like, think about it and don't be so hard on [00:09:00] yourself. If you're not the same person you were before. Cause I just, man, we just beat ourselves up the whole time and just particularly women, we just beat ourselves up and everything. And I think that, that I love that.
You're like looking for people who come that mentioned because it can be hard. Cause you start seeing all these. Posts or people. Yeah. I still ran a marathon while going through chemo and I'm like, oh my gosh, how is that even possible? Like, you know, like I put my shoes on today. That was like a big challenge.
Let me tell you, you know, it's like, it's so different than like it was before going through it again. So it's fascinating.
Helen: It's funny. Isn't it? Because I, yeah, my milestones were things. If I could walk out to the little box during some of those last chemo cycles, that was okay. And I can even remember, I think I'd just finished radiation or maybe I was between.
And, you know, I was in a hurry to get better, to be well, to be fixed, to be, to put the cancer behind me. And so I tried to push and I just couldn't do things. And so, yeah, I would try and, oh, you're going to do this [00:10:00] thing. I ain't going to try this thing. And I think the truth for me was there was actually, I had no energy for.
Olivia: Your city dad. And you're like, oh my God, I can't believe I went through all of this stuff. Like, it's just, I mean, like all of it is just so crazy when if you bite into people like, like radiation, I mean, just like the amount of radiation going on your body to a small spot where the cancers, I mean, that alone is like exhausting.
And then the stress it weighs on you. And in addition to the cancer, So much that you take out of this experience and you just can't shake it off and like one day or something. No,
Helen: and it's really funny. Originally I connected with Olivia was through her fantastic website, humor, beats cancer. I put all those links in the show notes and I shaped my experience.
I had horrific and I mean, horrific constipation when I hit AC. I was, I mean, my partner and I [00:11:00] had been together for maybe six months when I was diagnosed with cancer. So we were facing some things pretty quickly and one of them was bodily functions and you just quickly get home with it, stuff, that sort of stuff happening in your body, breaking down.
All of those things, take a while to go. Holy hick. That was, that was weird. Wasn't it?
Olivia: I can't believe. I just, they're just like, I just didn't even remember even just walking out of chemo and kind of being in that haze that you're in. And then we always went to lunch after that at a restaurant. I'm like, why did he do that? Like, why didn't we just get food and go home? But I just remember sitting there, like I was completely stoned or something like, just like, like eyes big, like, whoa.
Crazy times. And so I just, there's just things you do. And you're like, why did I make that more difficult on myself?
Helen: You know, I drove myself to radiation. This is [00:12:00] the thing is that your Headspace is not well, but I wanted to drive myself every day to radiation because I didn't want to burden anyone else to have to drive through the school traffic.
Cause it was, the hospital was in a big school zone. And it's so funny that that's where my head was. Was it. I'm going to get up every morning for 11 days.
Olivia: I know. Well, for me with mediation, I was like, I need to have the earliest appointment. So he get to work. And I just remember like running, like, and I'm like, well, I mean, if I had been there like 10 minutes late, I don't think anybody would have like freaked out.
Cause they knew what I was going through. But in my mind, I couldn't be a minute late. So I was like throwing clothes on and get ready. And it was just, that was just ridiculous. It's like, we just make it so much harder for ourselves sometimes, you know? Yeah.
Helen: Yeah. Because I mentioned before that I was in such a hurry, you know, for things to be back to normal.
And I ran back into my corporate job and basically everything sort of, I don't know, it's almost like it all started to fall away and it was almost like the, I don't know, the [00:13:00] universal something. No, you can't, you can't do this. And so I think that's an important message is that, you know, I'm three years post-diagnosis and two years post active treatment and I've chosen to work for myself because that's the only way I can manage my days and be okay because it's taken a massive toll on my physical health and my, I think my mental capability to cope.
So much, if that makes sense. Yeah. No, a
Olivia: hundred percent makes sense. I mean, and good for you for like, recognizing that, because I think so many times we just keep trying to go back into our old life and our old ways, and that's just a lot of times not possible and it just makes it harder on us. I love that you like recognize that and you're like, let's create a new life.
That makes more sense for me now. And I think that's the best piece of advice is that you really have to, but it's hard. It's really good. To like, say goodbye to that old life and be like, okay, [00:14:00] this is the new version of me that I'm going to be dealing with. I that's
Helen: hard. It's so hard. I had it. So had initially it reminds me of, I am terrible on Tik TOK cause my brain loves it.
So that's been hours scrolling, but I did come across this gym plus night where it was a therapist. This hit higher. And I think it's relevant for now and it's relevant for anyone who may have had treatment. And he was talking about the fact that when you're in the trauma, when you are going through. At the moment the world is going through COVID or when we were in our cancer treatment or having it, and those sorts of things that the yoga doesn't help.
That mindfulness really isn't it's okay. It's not until you are done with that thing and you feel safe and it's calm. That's when the work can happen, but nobody. So, I
Olivia: mean, I wish that there was, I mean, I do go to therapy and everything, but I do wish that there was like a thing. Who would partner with an oncologist and be like, be there [00:15:00] for you, like while you're going through it.
But then also after even more importantly, after the fact and say, okay, like somebody who really gets cancer and say, you know, okay, so this is what happened. This is how you're going to feel. You may feel. And it's okay. It's okay to have bad days. It's okay to be still depressed about what you lost because of cancer.
'cause I think that that's another thing. I mean, the stuff I see do human beats cancer, any like, you know, women who had planned to have families and they can't have children now, or I've heard of, you know, a partner leaving them in the middle because it was too hard for them to deal with. And like just these really hard things that on their own are stressful.
And then on top of it, you have this disease. Took care of. And so I just wish that there was more talk about mental health throughout the whole experience, because I do think that there's that one piece. I mean, they do deal with, like, you don't have to, if you're feeling tired, take this. If you're feeling this, take that you're constipated, take this.
Like they try all the things to take, you know, they may say, go see a therapist, but it would [00:16:00] be nice to partner more than. Throughout the cancer experience. Oh,
Helen: absolutely. I was really, really lucky that I had met a therapist prior because I'd had really awful work situation. And so I found this wonderful, beautiful woman who saw me throughout my cancer process entirely for free, which was amazing.
Cause I wasn't working because she had had bowel cancer. It was so helpful because even if I went in and I just went, I don't know what to fail. She knew that I wasn't in this face just yet to be leading. Grief, because you're still in shock that this thing is happening
Olivia: to you. Yeah. I saw my therapist throughout the whole experience.
It was great. And I still see her and still talk to her. She's great. I do wish though, that, like, there was that they did some additional training on like cancer or just illness and maybe they will now because of COVID. Cause I imagine a lot of people got. I did this with some, some heavy baggage that may be they're going to have to address.
[00:17:00] And then nobody understands that better than a cancer patient, who is like, when you're talking about the symptoms of like smell and taste going, you know, carrying on for lot of time. I'm like, I mean, there are so many things that we deal with as cancer survivors. And we just like, oh, you know, parts of my body are numb.
I don't have nipples. You know, like there's all this kinds of stuff that people don't like, understand that you don't like completely walk away from it. You have like the wounds to the battle wounds and stuff to deal with.
Helen: It's so funny. I've been talking about this a lot with people. Um, and I know that you've mentioned that cancer never really feels like it goes away.
You know, it's never. No in your mind and all of those things that you touched on as why is, yeah, I don't have good finger dexterity now because I'm still a bit numb. I only have one breast. I, yeah, so many things. And I was saying that exact same stuff. We are, this is the pat of COVID. I don't think people have quite kind of, they haven't clicked to.
I don't want to get it. I don't have the capacity to do another [00:18:00] chronic disease that it takes years to heal from. And I think the mental and physical toll of that haven't quite twigged onto that. It's not, oh, you've had a heart attack. Oh, you've had, yeah, really bad bout of COVID or this disease. You'll be, you'll start getting bitter and get on with your life.
None.
Olivia: Like some of it may hang for them was hanging with them forever. I mean, and yeah. And it is, it's just so true that it's just those things that I think keep the trauma present and make it difficult to like get past it. I think,
Helen: how do I navigate this? So that trauma doesn't hold me. Yeah, it certainly has for me at times, like I do feel like, and this is why I'm being so vague with coconut moment is that I kind of feel like life is opening up again.
And then I think. Yeah, I just don't want to go backwards in that way. And so I'm basically a hermit. [00:19:00]
I
Olivia: know, I know I have been suing people. Don't understand some of my closest loved ones don't understand why I'm so scared, but it is like, I can't, uh, to deal with that on top of what we've already gone through and stuff is just a lot.
It's just a lot to deal with. I mean, like I, as it is now, You're talking about survivorship or I was diagnosed a second time. I freaked out every time, like I had an ache or a pain, or if something was not quite right with me, I was like, oh my God, it's come back. Or right before tests, you know, when you have to take your annual tests, I mean, towards the beginning, I would be amazed.
Frying. I, one time I got one year I got drunk the night before, like I've just did not handle it in like a real healthy space. Like I was just like, because it's so traumatizing, it's so traumatizing. And just that fear that it's back is just a lot and it never goes away in my opinion. I mean maybe for some people it does, but like, it never went away from me.
It was always in the back of my mind. Always kind of reminding me that [00:20:00] can hold you back too. Cause there's always that fear. Yeah. Like it's hard to plan stuff sometimes. Cause you're like, what if it comes back or what if this happens and stuff, it really is hard. Oh yeah.
Helen: I'm nodding away. Like one of those dogs, you know, those
'cause I think, yeah, that's been a common thread drill. A lot of the interviews I've done and people I've met. We're so scared of it coming back, you know, and it is frightening because it's like you've been through it once you've been through this huge deal and yeah, the thought of it coming back just to.
If a present thing. And so I did want to talk about that because this is another thing I don't think we do talk about within survivorship or even within the cancer community is that you have experienced it coming back. So, you know, talk to us about how it was diagnosed as coming back. And what has it been like these past
Olivia: few months?
Yeah, I mean, it would [00:21:00] definitely, it's so interesting because I do think a positive post going through cancer. The first. Was, I really felt connected to my body in a way I'd never had before, where I was really paying attention to when things didn't feel right or when something was off. And I would question it with doctors and they would say, well, let's just hang on and see what it is and see what it is.
And I never gave up on myself. I just felt like there was something. So there were a couple of things. Like I always have pains in the back of my back kind of towards the top of my back. And then I also had this cough that wouldn't go away and it would just would hang on and I would get all kinds of inhalers and all kinds of things to treat it.
But I just felt like it was something more than. And so then finally they started doing the scans and that's where they found tumors in my lungs and in various other parts of my body and stuff, and also in my bones and stuff, which they think is part of the reason my back was hurting and stuff. So it's probably, I mean, it was definitely sad and devastating at the same time.
I did feel a little bit of [00:22:00] validation that like, I really didn't know my body and I didn't know something. And I learned from the first time around how to really push and be an advocate for yourself. And I do think that that is like hugely important because. As it was, people kept telling me, just kick the can down, whatever the expression is down the street, or whatever ends up and keep waiting to see what it's gonna be.
And I just had this feeling when I was going through it, that it was something more. And so that, but, um, you know, going through the second time and now a stage four is just a completely different experience in that. Like it's never going to go away. There's never going to be that hope. And so that's a little scary.
And so it's different. I was a lot more naive the first time and I just felt like, just do what the doctor's saying. It's going to, you know, taking care of it. And that worked out and I was like, This time around, it's a little different because it's like, you know, I just need it to not take me down.
Essentially. I need to be able to still live my life. And so there's definitely, I come into it a little bit more informed and you [00:23:00] know, I do miss being ignorant and blind and like, you know, naive to everything and being like, oh, this is going to be fine and stuff. And so that's a little bit harder, but I do kind of.
I'm just in a different place in my life to where it's just, I feel like I have been working on myself in between all this a lot more, and I've been doing the things that, and I think that maybe, you know, To get me ready for this in some way. And so I'm really just trying to be optimistic, you know, since cancer, I really have been living my life as fullest as I can.
I've been traveling a lot more than trying to be better, and I created a tumor beats cancer. So there's a lot more things that I really am proud of that I feel like I, my life looks a lot different, more different than it was the first time. And so I'm happy about that, but yeah, because you know, our fear when we're survivors is that it's going to come back and then it freaking came back.
And so it's like, it was like all that, worry it for us for this. And so, I don't know, I was really upset when I found out and like, everything is. 'cause I, you know, like [00:24:00] creative, human beats cancer, there's always these like dark humor spots or whatever. And so like, like I got the news, like I swear I never get the news in like a good spot.
I was on the train on the way to work. And so I was just, like you said, you can't really react. Did you have to be like, oh, that's interesting. Thank you for telling me that I now have this. I appreciate that. It's just like, uh, it's just always my story that, and everything's always got some funny sides side part to it, but yeah.
I mean, all I can do right now is continue living my fullest life and like try to avoid COVID and do everything the doctors say. But yeah, I mean, I don't know what survivorship means for me now because I'm always going to be in it. So I don't know. You know, I, I don't know what that means. I find that that would be interesting to learn more from like other stage four cancer patients and stuff is like, how do you survive, I guess, during this?
And, you know, and I find that very interesting. So I don't know. I mean, I don't know if you've talked to some people and they've talked about this, but like, I find that very [00:25:00] fascinating, like. Just keep going when you know, it's always with you. Yeah.
Helen: I have spoken to her a few people who are stage four and it's yeah.
They amaze me to be honest. And I feel like there are different ways that people deal with it. And this is just from my observation that a lot of people just go, I'm not gonna. Break me down. I'm going to do every damn thing that I want to do. I'm going to eat the damn cake. I'm going to do the things. And, but at the same time, acknowledging that there's anger and all of those things.
And then I think some people, they just get really angry. Yeah. That's okay too, because it's a shitty situation, but I think you're right. It's something that would be really interesting and beneficial to talk more with people who are incurable stage four, about what, what does this look like for you? Yeah.
When
Olivia: I describe it to loved ones, I try to say it's, I mean, maybe this is not exactly the right comparison, but I was like, you know, it's like diabetes, you're always going to have. [00:26:00] And, you know, and you're always going to have the pump. You always got to check your numbers and stuff like that. And that's how I'm trying to think of it is it's like that it's like if you had diabetes and had to get your insulin or you had to, and that's what I have to do, I get two shots once a month.
And then every day I take certain pills and find it related to other things that like, okay, so, you know, maybe it's, this is how those people deal with that. I mean, they live full lives and so maybe that's how I can be too. So I think that that. Like one way that I've been trying to compare it to other people.
And it does help to see, you know, when, when I hear people talking about stage four, that just, that some people live for 10 years and 15 years and everything. And it's just, and so I don't know if that'll be my fate, but it's, that's encouraging to hear that there are people with, so I try to like latch on to that stuff.
I will say that as of right now, I can not read any books about cancer patients. I cannot. Watch movies where the person dies at the end of the cancer and stuff. That's just like not, I tried, there's an author, Ken, [00:27:00] Kate bowler, I think, or something she writes about. She has terminal cancer and stuff, and she writes about things and I try to listen to her on a podcast and I was just too much for me.
Like, it's just, it has to be tinted with humor for me to get through it and stuff, because I just cannot like here. A sad story right now about someone who passed away from cancer. That's really hard for me right now. Absolutely.
Helen: And I think that's why I love human beeps cancer is that I am similar where I do use humor, flipped with humor.
All right. I have a terrible habit of laughing at inappropriate moments. It is kind of cathartic, laughing at the hideous things that this Testo Albert. It really
Olivia: is. I mean, that's what I love. Like I just, because I do. I don't want to say minimize it because I always say I don't want to minimize cancer, but I think it does put it into perspective that like, you know, that you're not alone, I guess that you know, that there are other people going through the similar issues and, and that it's like, it takes [00:28:00] the feeling of being alone.
And like, cause when you're trying to describe this to friends and family who haven't gone through it, they love you and everything, but they just don't understand. But when you go in and talking to people, who've been through it, there's just this like, oh my God, that happened to you. That happened to me too.
That's crazy. You know? Oh, we're okay now. And so I think there's definitely that connection. That's so special. I think that'll be unique for me the second time around, because the first time around, I didn't really have that kind of a support network. And this time around, I do have the humor, these cancer people, and I do have that.
And I do think it's, it's made the experience a lot more different than the first time around. Yeah.
Helen: And I really curious as well. I wanted to ask you, was there a situation or incident for you. It was your humor, beats, cancer moment that made you go, I want to provide a place for people to share these stories.
Yeah. I mean, I
Olivia: would probably say there were a couple, so there's one story I tell a lot when I do speaking engagements or whatever and stuff. And there's one where, while going through cancer, I was [00:29:00] getting a little chemo and I'd lost all my hair. And so I had to wear a scarf around my head. And so me and a couple of friends went to a young adult, like silent auction and drinks event for the American cancer society.
And it was really fun. And so, and I was feeling good about myself. If I looked pretty with the scarf and the matching sweater and all this stuff. And so towards the end of the day, My friends went to go pick up their silent auction items. And I hung back by the table that there's a table in the lobby.
And so this girl comes up to me and she goes, oh my God, you haven't left yet. Thank God. I'm so glad you're still here. I had no idea who she was, but I was just kind of playing along with it. And. I'm still here. She's like, great. I'm ready to hear my fortunate. And so she thought I was a fortune, the fortune teller that they had at the event, which I think that was super ironic that you would have like a fortune teller at a cancer event.
I feel like nobody wants to go up and hear their fortune at that point. So you literally thought I was [00:30:00] like, you know, like a gypsy who is there to read her fortune. So that was like, what experience like I, all you can do is laugh because you're like, your feelings are good about yourself. I always say, I felt like I was like the cancer Beyonce, and I was walking into the room and then.
You know, you're brought down to humanity, like you're human and that too, that I was going to tell her fortune, I would say that's one. And then the other thing was I just sitting in a waiting room at an oncology as just crazy time. Like it tends to be predominantly older people who have so much time on their hands, that they don't care.
Like I remember. W they announced, they're like, yeah, the doctors are running late. It's going to be like a three to four hour wait. And I had to get back to work. And all of these, the elderly folks were like, that's okay, I'll just go get lunch and bring it back in their life. And they'd bring up magazines and newspapers, books and stuff.
And. Seemed. I was like, oh my God, this is craziness. And I just remember laughing because it was like, [00:31:00] these people were just like chilling. Like this was the day for them. And I just laughed to myself cause I was like, so on edge. And so type a where I was like, I'm going to go find her where she at. Like, let's just all get together and team up as one and we're going to find, and so it was just so I found that that was funny and that incident made me wonder if other people go through something similar, like.
We're like, they're still living like their daily life while dealing with cancer. So that was like another buddy experience. But yeah, I've had so many weird ones. Like I knew the, the guy that gives you your anesthesia. Strangely, I went to college with his sister randomly and I come out of, you know, I, they do the surgery and I come out of it.
And all of a sudden he sticks his phone in my face and he's FaceTiming with his sister and I was in my, you know, how your hair is all a mess. I haven't talked to her in 20 years and she's like, Hey, she's, she's face timing me from Israel. I think. And she's like, Hey, how are you? What's new. [00:32:00] And I'm just like, oh my God.
Get away. Like, what are you doing? It seems so inappropriate and funny. It's not. So like, those are the kinds of weird things that happen to me all the time.
Helen: So funny. I really cause I was putting into a menopause and then you have chemo and my brain was not in a good way. I'm sitting in the waiting room, waiting for my radiation.
I sit there thinking, why are these men all wearing the same shorts? Thinking this is so weird. Was there a special, is this a type of shorts that middle-aged men like to wear? This is so strange. And I mentioned it to the radiation, um, technicians. So many people wearing the same shorts and they said, they're here to get their prostates that, oh
Olivia: my God.
Helen: So I must've been booked in with all the prostate patients.[00:33:00]
Olivia: Oh my God. Well, I just think the whole, I don't know if this experience with the radiation. I just think like with all the medical advancements, the way that they would say, we're going to make sure that the radiation doesn't hit your heart is you're going to hold your breath. I just think that is like so crazy to be that that is where we've promised, like the medical advancements that it's about me holding my breath and not moving.
Could we have come up with something better than that. By this time it just cracks me up. Like some of the things that they make us do,
Helen: I always say as well, my oncologist knows the most about my body and my bodily functions out of anyone on this planet.
Olivia: Oh my God. I know. Cause you have to, they have to see everything.
I mean, what type of cancer did you have? Did
Helen: you have.
Olivia: Yeah. I mean, and like how often we just take off our shirts. Like it's no biggie. Like, we're just like, like there are times when I'm going to do, and they're like, oh no, we're not doing that today. Just like, oh, sorry. It's so [00:34:00] mortified. I'm like, okay, let me put my shirt back on now.
So I know it's just like, the whole thing is just so odd. And I think that's why I found it so funny is I feel like people. Always focus on the disease and cancer and how bad it is, but there's like so many things along the way that are just weird. Like just weird, like, you know, it's uh, yeah, so that's how it all came down.
Helen: I know. I just hit share this. It's just hitting things. I'm getting overexcited. This. Laurie. I like to share about when people told me about chemo brain. Cause I went on a bit of online spending bench as well because, and I warn people now that this
Olivia: it's happening a lot to me this time around I'm just like
Helen: my package. Getting to make something happen. And I had to call New Zealand post, which is our, you know, national postal service. And they kept asking me what my address was. And I'd be like, it's 1, 5, 9, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, we can't find you. I was [00:35:00] like, this is so weird. It's an established house.
That's been here since the thirties. This is weird. And I was adamant that that was the number. And then. Had to launch this whole investigation into why this wasn't coming up on a map. And the next day, my partner and I had been for a little walk and we walked past and down the driveway and we go past the litter box and I say, oh, we're 59.
Oh,
Olivia: no.
Oh my God. I've totally been there though. Where your life? Cause you're thinking about a thousand things at once and you're like, oh yeah, my address isn't that?
Helen: Goodness. It has been such a pleasure to meet you and talk to you. And I drink. Like to sort of round out our conversation. And one of the things that I think that, you know, a lot of people sort of, you know, it's a struggle of, what do we say to people who have had cancer or, or going through cancer? [00:36:00] What do you think is the best way to, I guess, talk to someone, if they tell you you've been diagnosed with cancer or that your friend has cancer.
Olivia: Just being there for them and just, I will say one thing that it's hard to avoid, but it gets tough to constantly repeat the story over and over again where like you're having to go through it over and over and over again. So I think, you know, maybe just, you know, talking about non-cancer topics sometimes helps or, you know, I think that, you know, asking them.
I really like people who say things like, how about I bring you a meal, as opposed to saying, let me know what I can do, because I never know what to tell you. You know? I'm like, well, you can come clean my apartment, but I don't know. That's good. You know? I mean, but it's, so I think that like saying, Hey, I'm going to bring you a meal.
What day works best for you? And then that was great. I had another friend who said, I'm going to text you and just say, I'm thinking about you, but you don't have to text me back right away. That's not that important. So like taking away those. [00:37:00] Stresses, I think can be really helpful for those going through cancer.
I think just saying that, you know, I'm here for you, I'm here to make you laugh. If you want to cry, whatever you want to do with me, I'm here and I can be that person for you. But at the same time, you know, I can also be the person who drinks wine with you or the person who is. Chocolate and, you know, or that talks about guys or girls or whoever, you know?
And so I really think it's just taking a little bit of that stress off of a cancer patient, because there is so much stress to like kind of try and make everybody else happy too. Like you want them to be as informed and you want them to know that, that you got their texts and you want, and it gets overwhelming sometimes I think.
Helen: Absolutely. Absolutely. Fantastic. Good fun. Where can people find your way? Can they write these hilarious stories or come connect with you?
Olivia: Yeah, no, I'd love it. Well, our website is humor, beats cancer.com, and that's where we have our blog stories. And so we have a lot of funny blog stories from people's funny stories and people's cancers.
And then we are real active on [00:38:00] Instagram. And so we post funny stories. Every Wednesday, we do a writing prompt, throw out some random question and people share their ideas about it. We also share the blog posts. And so we're on Facebook and Instagram at, at humor, beats cancer in the run, Twitter at humor, beat cancer.
And, um, so we're in those two spots. And then if anybody wants to contribute or has anything funny to share, just reach out. My email is editor at humor, beats cancer.com. So, if you have any ideas, if you want to get, get involved in some way, we would welcome it. It's we're here for everybody to give them a laugh while they're dealing with cancer in some
Helen: way.
Wonderful. I will put all those details in the show notes as well. So thank you again. It is just being, oh,
Olivia: same here. I've really enjoyed our conversation. Thank you so much for having.
Helen: Thanks so much for listening. The C-word is every Sunday at 11:55 AM on Auckland 1 0 4 0.6, planet FM. And any time it ducked up.dot planet.
[00:39:00] audio.org dot INSEAD foot slash the C word.
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